November 2009

Inspired by his forthright thoughts on Ireland’s defeat to France in the World Cup play-offs (including extra bonus journalist ringtone RAGE), former Ireland and Manchester United captain Roy Keane takes time out from his busy work day at Portman Road to discuss the topics of the day, in a feature new to The Deadline.

Today, Keane – who once sang Positively Fourth Street in Lillies Bordello’s VIP Lounge after beating Holland, of course – offers his perspective on Jedward’s exit from X-Factor last night.

[Keane sips a herbal tea from a chipped 'Who's The Boss' mug, one veteran journalist's mobile phone is smashed into the lino when the reminder alarm for his heart pills sounds. Then, he quickly gets into his stride on the singing twins]

“Jedward had chances at boot camp and on Saturday but didn’t take them,” he said. “Lloyd was there for the taking but Jedward never grabbed it – as usual.

“They were afraid of that next step and were mentally not strong enough. They can complain all they want. That is not going to change anything. Olly is going to the final – get over it! They want sympathy as usual. It is the usual carry on and it’s boring.”

“It is the usual Louis Walsh reaction – ‘we’ve been robbed’, ‘the honesty of the game’ but there was one of the earlier rounds (movies week) when John and Edward got through and no one had appealed for it.

“It was one of the worst decisions I have ever seen. But I don’t remember Louis saying ‘You know what? The public made a howler, let’s give them a replay.’ It is the same principle.

“It [Joe singing an Elton John song on George Michael night] was instinct for Cheryl. Would I call her a cheat? No I wouldn’t think so. Did she bend the rule a little? Maybe. You see cheating going on all the time. Nobody wants a cheat. I wouldn’t agree that Cheryl is a cheat. She is a top, top player who took advantage of the situation.

[Ten minutes later... After discovering Roy is uninterested in seeing the fake CArlsberg pint application on my iPhone...]

“I don’t feel the game has been damaged one bit. Jedward had the chances. They never took the chance in the first game [Saturday]. They never performed.

“Louis talks about the honesty and integrity of the game but I would not take any notice of that man. People forget what went on in Popstars in 2002 [Nadine Coyle, now of Girls Aloud, was kicked off the show for lying about her age] and that man talks about honesty. I have been involved with Boyzone since I was 15 years but he didn’t have the decency to even make a phone call – and he goes on about the honesty of the game.”

[Keane suddenly storms off through a closing canteen door when Colin Healy is spotted wearing his studs indoors. We eventually leave, when the Corkman fails to return after two hours. The Watercooler: a sideways look at what's in the news with Roy Keane returns for a special budget edition soon!]

update: The Gift Grub guys had the same idea it seems, listening to this morning’s broadcast.

Dougal: I know! We’ll lure them into a giant bingo game!
Ted: And how are we going to do that?
Dougal: We’ll print up some bingo cards on our printing press and… oh.
Ted: Yes, it’s the lack of a printing press that lets us down there. Or bingo balls. Or a PA system. Or in fact, any bingo paraphernalia at all.
Dougal: Damn. So near, yet so far.

When Roy Keane weighs in with a spittle-flecked rant aimed at the Football Association of Ireland, you know it’s time to throw in the towel. The same way the sight of a drunk, hiccupping girl weeping in the kitchen marks the end of a house party, his tirade is are the full-stop in a traumatic week for Irish football.

We jumped the shark, as a nation, when a group of men – not even kids – picketed the French Embassy today. It’s beyond a Craggy Island parody. I think now is the time to fold away childish things.

I am however confident we will win the European Championships. Not that I’m overreacting to what was, let’s remember a phenomenal 1-0 win in Paris.

The world, inexplicably, is still turning – but feeling is still raw today after last night’s game. Here’s a round-up of the reaction on the web:

Barry Glendenning gives his video verdict.

The BBC has kicked a soapbox in our direction and are running a live feed of fans’ emails and texts.

Irish Justice Minister Dermot Ahern calls for a replay. Shameless, cynical politicking – but he did the same with the Lisbon Treaty I suppose.

The excellent Sport Is A TV Show offers some perspective. as usual

Apart from his great trebles every Friday on the Last Word, this is why I love Tony Cascarino

Top 10 World Cup handballs

Robbie Keane blames seedings. I’ll argue with anyone this weekend who tries to defend this system.

Those Facebook pages keep growing exponentially.

Henry admitted his handball, says Dickie Dunne

The customary Wikipedia vandalism screen grab.

The Frontline heckler has his say
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When Chairman Mao was once asked what he thought the repercussions of the French Revolution had been, he famously answered: “It’s too early to tell”.

Certainly a mere matter of hours after Irish hopes were guillotined in the Paris, there is little perspective in Ireland. Facebook groups denouncing handball culprit Theirry Henry are growing exponentially. Twitter is creaking under the weight of bile directed at the Barcelona striker’s apparent account. Men cried openly in pubs. And to be honest, I can understand every bit of it.

Henry has just come out and – far from apologise – insisted it’s the referee’s responsibility to ensure fair play wins out. This is utter bollix, of course. Without getting all Mrs Lovejoy on it, I have to say I was reminded of walking towards Croke Park on Saturday before the first leg when the French team coach sped past. It was empty, having just spewed a file of iPod-listening Frenchmen onto Jones Rd. But a young father pointed at the bus and told his excited little kid “That’s the bus that Henry was on!” What a joke that seems now.
Read the rest of this entry »

So we’re not going to the World Cup again. And New Zealand are.

Croke Park was absolutely rocking again on Saturday night. I brought Gavin‘s Flip camera with me and hoped to get some videos and interviews in the mixed zone in an attempt to go all multi-platform but due to lack of time, and poor content (Bacary Sagna speaking in French in a press scrum, for example) they’re not really worth posting.

Unlike, of course, the above picture taken, badly, on my phone. It was good to mess around with the technology though and I’m certainly going to purchase one soon.

As I was only doing player quotes and stuff after the full-time whistle I wasn’t under any real pressure during the match itself so I tweeted from the press area quite a bit – something I’d never done before. And the reaction was pretty impressive. There was about 200 hits, I think, on pictures, like the one above and below, that I posted.

I went into town after I clocked off and they mood around the place was still, I must say, delusionally optimistic, with lads I got chatting to on the way in still hopeful. I think, however, the reality is starting to bite this morning.

I’m ashamed to say I’m pleased I didn’t book a trip to Paris. At the moment though, the Eurostar is packed with Irish guys on their way to the French capital. And the airports will be creaking with seasoned campaigners in moth-balled jerseys. For their sake at least, I hope we make a game of it at the Stade de France and maybe bring it to extra time. Who knows then? If we got to penalites, you have to fancy Shay Given.

Jesus, I’m lying to myself again.

Finally, I want to know if The Story will be filing a Freedom of Information request to learn how much it cost me, the tax payer, for a tardy Graeme Souness to get a garda escort from Dublin Airport. He could’ve got the 747 or 746 all the way to Quinns and walked to Hill 16 in five minutes.

Souness also claims to be partaking in Movember (or as he put it, some charity thing for the month of August, Bill. August, Graeme?). Those who saw him play however, will not be surprised to learn that Souey is cheating in that he has sprouted a full-on beard. This is contrary to the spirit of the Movember law. I shall be writing to the Minister for Communications and the RTE DG.

We may not be seeing Souness and his co-pannelists on Wednesday night with a deal yet to be struck for the TV rights. The French always blindfolded victims of the guillotine, of course. l

The French Football Fedration have returned 1,000 tickets for the match on Saturday. They’re mostly Hill 16 but there’s some for the stands too apparently. Try here.